The only one thing that you requested was for the garbage to be taken out. But, unfortunately, it never got done. “I Didn’t hear you”, they say. Curious how that works, how your partner didn’t hear the one thing you requested from them. This “selective hearing” is a common indication that communication is failing.
We normally view selective hearing as a negative, sort of like it’s a character flaw. Accusing someone of selective hearing is implying they weren’t listening to you. But it’s possible that the real culprit behind your selective hearing might not be a short attention span, it may be the early phases of hearing loss.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve most likely had at least one or more scenarios in your life where somebody has accused you of not listening, even if no one specifically used the term “selective hearing”. When you miss all the stuff you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the part about making a delicious meal but miss the part about cleaning up the dishes. Things like that.
As a behavior, selective hearing is extremely common. However, most research points to males failing to hear their partners more often than women.
It might be tempting to draw some social conclusions from that (and the way that individuals are socialized definitely does play into how this behavior is contextualized). But the other part of the picture may have something to do with hearing health. Let’s say your “selective hearing” begins to become more prevalent or more common. That could actually be an early sign of hearing loss.
Hearing loss can cause gaps in communication
Communication will certainly be harder with undiagnosed hearing loss. You’re probably not surprised by that.
But here’s the thing: oftentimes, communication problems are an indication of hearing loss.
When hearing loss is in those very early stages, there aren’t going to be a lot of obvious symptoms. Perhaps you start turning the volume on your tv up. You can’t quite hear what your friend is saying when you go out for a beverage at your local tavern. It’s likely because the music is so loud, right? But besides situations like that, you may never even observe how loud day-to-day sounds can be. This lets your hearing slowly (but surely) decline. You hardly notice the problem until you’re at the point where you regularly have difficulty hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming worried about the health of your hearing
You will notice some of the people in your life are beginning to worry. Yes, selective hearing is a rather common aggravation (even more aggravating when you already feel as if nobody is listening to you). But as it turns out more and more often, aggravation might turn to worry.
So, your partner might suggest you set up a hearing test to determine if something is wrong.
It’s significant to pay attention to your partner’s concerns. Have an open conversation and consider that they have a caring attitude and not just annoyance.
Other early indications of hearing loss
You should be aware of some of the other early warning signs of hearing loss if your selective hearing appears to be getting worse. A few of those signs include:
- Cranking up the volume on your devices
- Requesting that people speak slower and speak up
- Having a tough time making out consonants
- Trouble hearing in crowds
- When people talk it sounds distant or muffled
You should contact us for a hearing exam if you experience any of these symptoms.
Use ear protection
Protecting your hearing is so crucial to preventing hearing loss. If you can’t avoid overly loud noise, be certain you use hearing protection, like muffs or plugs. Hearing aids can also help you have more effective communication, which can smooth over many rough spots that your hearing loss might have caused in the first place.
A diminishing attention span will be to blame for most selective hearing incidents in your life. But you might want to take it as a signal that it’s time to get a hearing test when people around you begin to observe your selective hearing getting worse.